A Little Story On Restoration
Hello friends!
I just wanted to share a testimony.
So, as a young woman, I have not been one to date a lot of people. Actually, I have never technically dated anyone before- ever. But, God still teaches me lesson after lesson after lesson on how to grow in godly relationships.
Most people I talk to have had at least a handful of turbulent relationships. And that's okay. But I believe that God has a restorative quality that is often untapped in Christian cultures.
How many times have you been hurt, only then to shut someone completely out of your life who once meant so much to you? If you haven't caught the drift of this blog yet- I usually am in the same boat {this time is not different!}... I have personally watched myself time and time again fall into a pattern of being hurt from a situation gone awry into a place of purposefully avoiding that person in order to shut them out.
But that's where this week's story comes in.
While I have never dated anyone, I did go on a very first date last November. It was a lovely, Hallmark-like date where nothing went wrong and we both had a great time. He was a complete gentleman and was very respectful, but he went into the evening already really, really liking me and I soon realized that I didn't like him in that way at all.
I prayed a lot that following week, trying to understand why my head told me, "You should like him back, he is a great guy who loves the Lord!" and why my heart told me otherwise... Eventually, I had to come to terms and decide that even though he was a great guy, he wasn't going to be my great guy, and that would be okay. I would wait for someone that my head and heart both loved. {As I type this, I just want to shout out to any ladies who have ever been in this boat! It looks so simple to type on a screen, but throw some emotions and hormones and real people into the mix and it becomes the opposite of simple REAL fast!}
So, I knew I needed to be fair and communicate to him what was going on in my little spinning head. It was one of the hardest conversations to go into! I prayed I would communicate efficiently, and with full truth, grace, and poise.
He took it pretty well... at first. He said he would respect those boundaries and we mutually decided to give each other some space and then maybe become friends again.
But then I felt like he still texted me and was trying to convince me to date him. This made me upset and I felt like I needed to avoid him at all costs in order to communicate that I was not interested. The sad part was that I was still hurting. Even though we never dated, he had treated me like it and there was a bit of emotional attachment. And I felt like my avoidance was being rude. I saw his hurt and empathized.
For the past five months or so, I have felt this burden of tension between us both. I felt frustration and even anger that we had once been brothers and sisters in Christ who could pour into each other, but now we could not even talk to each other without awkwardness of undefined/vague intentions. The ambiguity was killing me.
But... going back to God's restorative character, I have a praise report to share!
This week, I went to a special chapel, and he was there. Again, there was that little bit of wanting to clear the air between us but uncertainty of whether it would be welcome conversation. There was also a strong urge to avoid him at all reasonable costs. Then God impressed upon me that I needed to go ask him for forgiveness.
My thoughts were pretty much, "God are you KIDDING ME!? I don't want to talk to him. Besides, that last time we talked he said he was okay and we forgave each other. I am afraid of what he will say, what people will think, etc."
Well, God had to deal with my petty arguments, stubbornness, and ridiculousness. I would just like to take a moment to appreciate God's patience with us! I finally gave in and allowed God to humble me. I walked over to him, and asked him for forgiveness. He had already forgiven me. But God used that as an ice-breaker. We ended up talking like two, normal people. He told me that he still wanted to be friends, but that he's been rejected before so it wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last time. {That broke my heart a little.} We were able to clear the air and define/solidify our motives were to really just be friends.
PRAISE GOD!
That was a conversation that took a lot of boldness for me.
It was worth it.
From upset, frustrated and kind of hostile, God changed my view of this guy to a healthful place of restoration. I can hardly believe one chat and a lot of Jesus could do that!
As I reflect, I see that a lot of it was really just my perception. I perceived more hurt and angst than was actually there. But that happens! All of the time! Sometimes I feel like Chicken Little- like the sky is falling and the world is ending! We need to realign our thoughts and restore our perception on our circumstances from a "God-view"
God's restoration there was much bigger than just me and this re-purposed relationship. I think God was trying to show me some Romans 12 in my own life. Romans 12 talks about renewing our minds in Christ Jesus. Restoring our thoughts to wholeness, drenched in God's truthfulness. I believe God wants to restore us so that even our default mode becomes a setting that is in tune with Him.
My challenge for you is this: Look at some of your past painful relationships. Are they just heaps of pain, stowed away in the dark, dusty attic of your heart? Is there any way those relationships are subconsciously taking away from your life emotionally and spiritually? How can you allow the Light and Life of Jesus Christ to remove the cyst of old, unaddressed pain?
Pray about how God could heal those places. Pray for yourself, but also for the other person. Ask the Lord if He would restore it. And I encourage you, if you are fighting against wanting restoration, then you probably should do it. While the bottom line is that it is ultimately between you and the Lord, your willingness is what all that you need to give to God. He will take care of the rest.
Lastly, be encouraged that God has been faithful. He has been faithful to me in restoring several relationships.
Always be in prayer, dwell in the humble place that is the base of the cross of Jesus Christ, and submit yourselves to the Lord, for He is good and His mercy endures forever.
XOXO,
Melissa
I just wanted to share a testimony.
So, as a young woman, I have not been one to date a lot of people. Actually, I have never technically dated anyone before- ever. But, God still teaches me lesson after lesson after lesson on how to grow in godly relationships.
Most people I talk to have had at least a handful of turbulent relationships. And that's okay. But I believe that God has a restorative quality that is often untapped in Christian cultures.
How many times have you been hurt, only then to shut someone completely out of your life who once meant so much to you? If you haven't caught the drift of this blog yet- I usually am in the same boat {this time is not different!}... I have personally watched myself time and time again fall into a pattern of being hurt from a situation gone awry into a place of purposefully avoiding that person in order to shut them out.
But that's where this week's story comes in.
While I have never dated anyone, I did go on a very first date last November. It was a lovely, Hallmark-like date where nothing went wrong and we both had a great time. He was a complete gentleman and was very respectful, but he went into the evening already really, really liking me and I soon realized that I didn't like him in that way at all.
I prayed a lot that following week, trying to understand why my head told me, "You should like him back, he is a great guy who loves the Lord!" and why my heart told me otherwise... Eventually, I had to come to terms and decide that even though he was a great guy, he wasn't going to be my great guy, and that would be okay. I would wait for someone that my head and heart both loved. {As I type this, I just want to shout out to any ladies who have ever been in this boat! It looks so simple to type on a screen, but throw some emotions and hormones and real people into the mix and it becomes the opposite of simple REAL fast!}
So, I knew I needed to be fair and communicate to him what was going on in my little spinning head. It was one of the hardest conversations to go into! I prayed I would communicate efficiently, and with full truth, grace, and poise.
He took it pretty well... at first. He said he would respect those boundaries and we mutually decided to give each other some space and then maybe become friends again.
But then I felt like he still texted me and was trying to convince me to date him. This made me upset and I felt like I needed to avoid him at all costs in order to communicate that I was not interested. The sad part was that I was still hurting. Even though we never dated, he had treated me like it and there was a bit of emotional attachment. And I felt like my avoidance was being rude. I saw his hurt and empathized.
For the past five months or so, I have felt this burden of tension between us both. I felt frustration and even anger that we had once been brothers and sisters in Christ who could pour into each other, but now we could not even talk to each other without awkwardness of undefined/vague intentions. The ambiguity was killing me.
But... going back to God's restorative character, I have a praise report to share!
This week, I went to a special chapel, and he was there. Again, there was that little bit of wanting to clear the air between us but uncertainty of whether it would be welcome conversation. There was also a strong urge to avoid him at all reasonable costs. Then God impressed upon me that I needed to go ask him for forgiveness.
My thoughts were pretty much, "God are you KIDDING ME!? I don't want to talk to him. Besides, that last time we talked he said he was okay and we forgave each other. I am afraid of what he will say, what people will think, etc."
Well, God had to deal with my petty arguments, stubbornness, and ridiculousness. I would just like to take a moment to appreciate God's patience with us! I finally gave in and allowed God to humble me. I walked over to him, and asked him for forgiveness. He had already forgiven me. But God used that as an ice-breaker. We ended up talking like two, normal people. He told me that he still wanted to be friends, but that he's been rejected before so it wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last time. {That broke my heart a little.} We were able to clear the air and define/solidify our motives were to really just be friends.
PRAISE GOD!
That was a conversation that took a lot of boldness for me.
It was worth it.
From upset, frustrated and kind of hostile, God changed my view of this guy to a healthful place of restoration. I can hardly believe one chat and a lot of Jesus could do that!
As I reflect, I see that a lot of it was really just my perception. I perceived more hurt and angst than was actually there. But that happens! All of the time! Sometimes I feel like Chicken Little- like the sky is falling and the world is ending! We need to realign our thoughts and restore our perception on our circumstances from a "God-view"
God's restoration there was much bigger than just me and this re-purposed relationship. I think God was trying to show me some Romans 12 in my own life. Romans 12 talks about renewing our minds in Christ Jesus. Restoring our thoughts to wholeness, drenched in God's truthfulness. I believe God wants to restore us so that even our default mode becomes a setting that is in tune with Him.
My challenge for you is this: Look at some of your past painful relationships. Are they just heaps of pain, stowed away in the dark, dusty attic of your heart? Is there any way those relationships are subconsciously taking away from your life emotionally and spiritually? How can you allow the Light and Life of Jesus Christ to remove the cyst of old, unaddressed pain?
Pray about how God could heal those places. Pray for yourself, but also for the other person. Ask the Lord if He would restore it. And I encourage you, if you are fighting against wanting restoration, then you probably should do it. While the bottom line is that it is ultimately between you and the Lord, your willingness is what all that you need to give to God. He will take care of the rest.
Lastly, be encouraged that God has been faithful. He has been faithful to me in restoring several relationships.
Always be in prayer, dwell in the humble place that is the base of the cross of Jesus Christ, and submit yourselves to the Lord, for He is good and His mercy endures forever.
XOXO,
Melissa
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