Stumble & Fall: Prose
the stumbling, emptying process is vicious.
once we have finally had enough
then we can graciously and sustainably say no to sin.
that's when we can have a healthy desire
for a holier life.
We all desire a holier life. To live a life that was better than last year's; whether that's to be closer to God or spend more time with family or do better in your job.
Yet we stumble. We fall. We sin.
And it can feel like we have emptied the hard work that got us to a place of progress.
I wrote the prose above in my journal not that long ago. But you see, I think it is missing something. We can't just be tired of sinning to stop. I've tried that. And it is very hard. In fact, straining to keep myself from taking part in temptation feels strangling to me! I often feel like I need superpowers to break free.
As I was thinking about this, I remembered that we kind of do need superpowers. Well, supernatural power, that is. It was a small, quiet voice that reminded me I am not alone. He is my strength.
I do think it is important to reach a place of "having enough." But, even if we don't, and the burning desire to do what you ought not do is inescapable, we can (and MUST) still turn to God. His supernatural strength can save us in those moments of feeling strangled and tethered to our past and perpetuating sins.
Someone once shared with me that they have to tell God, "Look! I still want my sin! I am sorry that I want it, but God you see me and know me and know that I still want it. And since I know that you want to lead me on a path that provides what's best for me and this is not part of following your plan, I want you to help me not want to this sin anymore. Help bring me to the place of wanting you more than this sinfulness, because I am not strong enough to make that change on my own right now."
Wow. That humility and honesty was almost more than I could admit to myself when I'd first heard those words. But inviting God into my struggle, which- might I add- He is already quite aware of as the Omniscient Creator of the Heavens and the Earth ahem, was a game-changer.
Satan wants us to hide. Check out Genesis, with Adam and Eve. They hid, trying to hide something from God- something that he already had the power to know.
Tell God. Even if you want to stumble and fall sometimes. He knows. He sees the heart, our inner person. Yet he loves us. How amazing is that grace!
God, I need you. I have called myself a Christian for years, but I sometimes I still want to turn in my "good girl" card and sin. Or put things before you. But in my moments of complete and utter weakness, be my strength.
I realize that I need you. Not only that, but I want you. I want your amazing grace and your love. I want to be cherished by you.
Thank you that my struggles sometimes feel impossible. It reminds me I need a Savior. And I need "super" power- the kind you provide from above if we just ask you for it. Thank you. Amen.
I wish you all a very Happy New Year! May you be blessed with a resilient heart that will always turn to Christ, no matter if you stumble or fall.
Love,
Mel
XOXOX
once we have finally had enough
then we can graciously and sustainably say no to sin.
that's when we can have a healthy desire
for a holier life.
We all desire a holier life. To live a life that was better than last year's; whether that's to be closer to God or spend more time with family or do better in your job.
Yet we stumble. We fall. We sin.
And it can feel like we have emptied the hard work that got us to a place of progress.
I wrote the prose above in my journal not that long ago. But you see, I think it is missing something. We can't just be tired of sinning to stop. I've tried that. And it is very hard. In fact, straining to keep myself from taking part in temptation feels strangling to me! I often feel like I need superpowers to break free.
As I was thinking about this, I remembered that we kind of do need superpowers. Well, supernatural power, that is. It was a small, quiet voice that reminded me I am not alone. He is my strength.
I do think it is important to reach a place of "having enough." But, even if we don't, and the burning desire to do what you ought not do is inescapable, we can (and MUST) still turn to God. His supernatural strength can save us in those moments of feeling strangled and tethered to our past and perpetuating sins.
Someone once shared with me that they have to tell God, "Look! I still want my sin! I am sorry that I want it, but God you see me and know me and know that I still want it. And since I know that you want to lead me on a path that provides what's best for me and this is not part of following your plan, I want you to help me not want to this sin anymore. Help bring me to the place of wanting you more than this sinfulness, because I am not strong enough to make that change on my own right now."
Wow. That humility and honesty was almost more than I could admit to myself when I'd first heard those words. But inviting God into my struggle, which- might I add- He is already quite aware of as the Omniscient Creator of the Heavens and the Earth ahem, was a game-changer.
Satan wants us to hide. Check out Genesis, with Adam and Eve. They hid, trying to hide something from God- something that he already had the power to know.
Tell God. Even if you want to stumble and fall sometimes. He knows. He sees the heart, our inner person. Yet he loves us. How amazing is that grace!
God, I need you. I have called myself a Christian for years, but I sometimes I still want to turn in my "good girl" card and sin. Or put things before you. But in my moments of complete and utter weakness, be my strength.
I realize that I need you. Not only that, but I want you. I want your amazing grace and your love. I want to be cherished by you.
Thank you that my struggles sometimes feel impossible. It reminds me I need a Savior. And I need "super" power- the kind you provide from above if we just ask you for it. Thank you. Amen.
I wish you all a very Happy New Year! May you be blessed with a resilient heart that will always turn to Christ, no matter if you stumble or fall.
Love,
Mel
XOXOX
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