Prudently Kind
My mother is one of the KINDEST women I have ever met.
You needed to know that before I could properly start this story...
Tension and anxiety were gripping my heart. Why? Well, I hate conflict. I get restless when there is disagreement. Where circumstances lack peace, I can sometimes feel like the ground is falling out from beneath me. And that's where I was two days ago.
I am a resident assistant in my dorm, and to be vulnerable for a moment/the rest of this blog post, I need to unearth an unrest that has resided in my soul. I have had a rough time with friend this year. Or what I have perceived to be a rough time. I felt unwanted, unaccepted, and outcast from a once very tight and incredibly precious friendship. This gal was on my floor and a part of my floor's leadership.
So, while I had tried to address the issues that weighed me down in the best ways I knew how, there was still an outstanding issue and open tension that filled the air whenever we were both in the same room. The tough part for me was that these issues did not just effect me, but it rippled into other relationships on my floor and on our campus. It was obvious and out in the open.
Because next week is finals week, our floor of girls had our last couple of events this past week. This stirred the tension pot.
I faced a choice. To try yet again to make things right and end the year well even though I was tired of trying to fix it, or to ignore it all and pretend that everything was fine when it clearly was not. I could shut her out of my world completely or opt to show her kindness.
That's where I found myself. Caught between wanting to give up an wanting to be kind one more time. Giving up seemed a valid option, right? I had reached out all year. I didn't feel like my efforts would be appreciated or reciprocated. So why should I try? She didn't deserve it, right?? And of course, there was option number two. Kindness. As I sat under a starry sky Monday night, with a tight chest and heavy heart, I felt the warmth words of my mother's wisdom ringing through the phrase to "be prudently kind."
Then, scripture washed over my mind.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against these things, there is no law." ~ Galatians 5:22-23, NIV
I let that scripture turn over my mind, and let it tumble into my heart. I took a deep breath and knew the hard thing I had to do. I had to extend kindness, to be prudently kind. Not because she deserved it, or would magically change her ways and come back to the sweet old friendship I had so missed. I had to be okay with extending kindness with no expectation of anything from her. But I had to do this for my heart. For my King, who says that we are to extend kindness. I knew that whatever reaction came from the kindness I showed would open a door for my heart to become sore. But that God would scoop me up from that place of hurt. He would fill it with Himself, and I would be near to him, having sacrificed for the call he gives to us in his word.
So, at that last event, I ended up giving her a gift and a note, thanking her for the time she put into helping our floor. By the grace of God, I truly was able to be grateful and kind. My hurt still aches today from the hurts of this past year regarding that relationship. But now, today, I have not regretted extending kindness.
I want to encourage you- be kind. The world is full of hard, hurtful things. It just is. I know you probably can think of several things right now- maybe your eyes are even full of tears as you read this or you feel a heaviness in your soul because you can relate to being so hurt or seeing hurt around you. So be kind. This world needs more kindness anyway. One more bitter person with one more grudge really won't do anyone an ounce of good. Let kindness start with you and me... We can become prudently kind, together.
Prayers and blessings,
Melly xoxo
P.S. Thanks for always being an example of Kindness MamaLiLi! I love you so so much!!!!
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| {My Sweet, Kind Mama!} |
You needed to know that before I could properly start this story...
Tension and anxiety were gripping my heart. Why? Well, I hate conflict. I get restless when there is disagreement. Where circumstances lack peace, I can sometimes feel like the ground is falling out from beneath me. And that's where I was two days ago.
I am a resident assistant in my dorm, and to be vulnerable for a moment/the rest of this blog post, I need to unearth an unrest that has resided in my soul. I have had a rough time with friend this year. Or what I have perceived to be a rough time. I felt unwanted, unaccepted, and outcast from a once very tight and incredibly precious friendship. This gal was on my floor and a part of my floor's leadership.
So, while I had tried to address the issues that weighed me down in the best ways I knew how, there was still an outstanding issue and open tension that filled the air whenever we were both in the same room. The tough part for me was that these issues did not just effect me, but it rippled into other relationships on my floor and on our campus. It was obvious and out in the open.
Because next week is finals week, our floor of girls had our last couple of events this past week. This stirred the tension pot.
I faced a choice. To try yet again to make things right and end the year well even though I was tired of trying to fix it, or to ignore it all and pretend that everything was fine when it clearly was not. I could shut her out of my world completely or opt to show her kindness.
That's where I found myself. Caught between wanting to give up an wanting to be kind one more time. Giving up seemed a valid option, right? I had reached out all year. I didn't feel like my efforts would be appreciated or reciprocated. So why should I try? She didn't deserve it, right?? And of course, there was option number two. Kindness. As I sat under a starry sky Monday night, with a tight chest and heavy heart, I felt the warmth words of my mother's wisdom ringing through the phrase to "be prudently kind."
Then, scripture washed over my mind.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against these things, there is no law." ~ Galatians 5:22-23, NIV
I let that scripture turn over my mind, and let it tumble into my heart. I took a deep breath and knew the hard thing I had to do. I had to extend kindness, to be prudently kind. Not because she deserved it, or would magically change her ways and come back to the sweet old friendship I had so missed. I had to be okay with extending kindness with no expectation of anything from her. But I had to do this for my heart. For my King, who says that we are to extend kindness. I knew that whatever reaction came from the kindness I showed would open a door for my heart to become sore. But that God would scoop me up from that place of hurt. He would fill it with Himself, and I would be near to him, having sacrificed for the call he gives to us in his word.
So, at that last event, I ended up giving her a gift and a note, thanking her for the time she put into helping our floor. By the grace of God, I truly was able to be grateful and kind. My hurt still aches today from the hurts of this past year regarding that relationship. But now, today, I have not regretted extending kindness.
I want to encourage you- be kind. The world is full of hard, hurtful things. It just is. I know you probably can think of several things right now- maybe your eyes are even full of tears as you read this or you feel a heaviness in your soul because you can relate to being so hurt or seeing hurt around you. So be kind. This world needs more kindness anyway. One more bitter person with one more grudge really won't do anyone an ounce of good. Let kindness start with you and me... We can become prudently kind, together.
Prayers and blessings,
Melly xoxo
P.S. Thanks for always being an example of Kindness MamaLiLi! I love you so so much!!!!
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