Summer Tribute
Once again, I am on the countdown!
Countdown to getting back on campus for my Junior Year of College!
I have to say, there is a lot running through my head (per usual...)
I have exactly two weeks before I am in the car and driving thousands of miles back to the Midwest. This brings feelings of anxiety, loss, excitement, and nervousness, and anticipation all in the same rush of emotion.
I am going to be sad for sure. I'll miss home, my family, our dogs, and my favorite grocery store (I really like the grocery store that is four blocks from my house, what can I say!). My boss at work, who knows how hard I have been working this summer, asked me if I did anything fun this summer. I paused a little too long because she was convinced all I did was work work work work work! But for me, it wasn't about some extravagant summer. I chose to come home for moments. Moments with my mom, laughing in the kitchen in the morning. Lunch with my brother at 2pm when he finally gets out of bed and we laugh about the silly things we see mom and dad doing, and what we imagine they will be like in ten, twenty years. Dancing around the house with Dad to off-key music we sing together. Still moments of snuggling my dog after a heartbreaking realization of some of my regrets and mistakes where I haven't quite let the light of grace come in. Vulnerable moments, hard ones. Joyful hopes I share with them.
You see, these kinds of moments don't fill my summer every single day. But, they come. And they are priceless to me. So, so precious.
When I leave this place, I can only bring the memory of it with me. And that stings.
BUT, I do get to be with all my girls! I am aching with just as much anticipation to be with my 33 Spence Girls on S3N! To pray with them, laugh with them, dance with them too. I can't wait!
This is the hard part of moving back and forth every year- you are torn in two places, with your heart sharing states. How do I do this? Can I really do it again and again?
I am excited for this next season. For the hopes with my new RA team! This is a great group, let me tell you! I can't wait to learn from them, and be stretched as a leader.
I am nervous to get out there and be open to dating (mom and I had a chat, and she said I should get out there... she's right as usual), I am nervous to have my baby brother grow up and graduate high school, nervous to start a new club on campus and nervous to get a big haircut so I can donate my hair (for the fourth time!). I am telling you, I have lots of random things on my mind.
So, what do I do with all of this?
Well, I saw someone post on Instagram yesterday, and I want to share what I got from it. She said that even though her instincts would say to pull herself up from her bootstraps to make her goals happen, but that God's best means leaning into heavenly appointment rather than seeking out earthly counsel. Her post challenged me to take all the things that tumble through my brain and sit in quietness and trust before the Lord, instead of gathering up all of my lists and notebooks and planning sheets and chasing after the wind.
And while I can't seem to shift completely sit in that quiet surrender today, I will take a baby step. While I might not abandon my planning sheets (which are to the right of my laptop as I type), I will take some time to be still before the Lord with it too.
So, here's to the last two weeks of summer. To hopes, to baby steps and to growth that transcends my location.
And here's to you! Whatever season you are in, whatever uncomfortable situations you might be growing through... may you do it with grace and inclusion of our God who is right there with you, no matter where you are.
Love,
Mel XOXO
Countdown to getting back on campus for my Junior Year of College!
I have to say, there is a lot running through my head (per usual...)
I have exactly two weeks before I am in the car and driving thousands of miles back to the Midwest. This brings feelings of anxiety, loss, excitement, and nervousness, and anticipation all in the same rush of emotion.
I am going to be sad for sure. I'll miss home, my family, our dogs, and my favorite grocery store (I really like the grocery store that is four blocks from my house, what can I say!). My boss at work, who knows how hard I have been working this summer, asked me if I did anything fun this summer. I paused a little too long because she was convinced all I did was work work work work work! But for me, it wasn't about some extravagant summer. I chose to come home for moments. Moments with my mom, laughing in the kitchen in the morning. Lunch with my brother at 2pm when he finally gets out of bed and we laugh about the silly things we see mom and dad doing, and what we imagine they will be like in ten, twenty years. Dancing around the house with Dad to off-key music we sing together. Still moments of snuggling my dog after a heartbreaking realization of some of my regrets and mistakes where I haven't quite let the light of grace come in. Vulnerable moments, hard ones. Joyful hopes I share with them.
You see, these kinds of moments don't fill my summer every single day. But, they come. And they are priceless to me. So, so precious.
When I leave this place, I can only bring the memory of it with me. And that stings.
BUT, I do get to be with all my girls! I am aching with just as much anticipation to be with my 33 Spence Girls on S3N! To pray with them, laugh with them, dance with them too. I can't wait!
This is the hard part of moving back and forth every year- you are torn in two places, with your heart sharing states. How do I do this? Can I really do it again and again?
I am excited for this next season. For the hopes with my new RA team! This is a great group, let me tell you! I can't wait to learn from them, and be stretched as a leader.
I am nervous to get out there and be open to dating (mom and I had a chat, and she said I should get out there... she's right as usual), I am nervous to have my baby brother grow up and graduate high school, nervous to start a new club on campus and nervous to get a big haircut so I can donate my hair (for the fourth time!). I am telling you, I have lots of random things on my mind.
So, what do I do with all of this?
Well, I saw someone post on Instagram yesterday, and I want to share what I got from it. She said that even though her instincts would say to pull herself up from her bootstraps to make her goals happen, but that God's best means leaning into heavenly appointment rather than seeking out earthly counsel. Her post challenged me to take all the things that tumble through my brain and sit in quietness and trust before the Lord, instead of gathering up all of my lists and notebooks and planning sheets and chasing after the wind.
And while I can't seem to shift completely sit in that quiet surrender today, I will take a baby step. While I might not abandon my planning sheets (which are to the right of my laptop as I type), I will take some time to be still before the Lord with it too.
So, here's to the last two weeks of summer. To hopes, to baby steps and to growth that transcends my location.
And here's to you! Whatever season you are in, whatever uncomfortable situations you might be growing through... may you do it with grace and inclusion of our God who is right there with you, no matter where you are.
Love,
Mel XOXO
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