Acknowledging the Close of a Season...

This week, it shifts. 

I have been praying into this season. That hard, guttural prayer of crying out to God, longing to be sure. Craving certainty.

I have felt the tension of staying in "the familiar" pulling against the tides of the ocean, calling me to step out in faith. I know what I must do.

All that I have been given is a gift. The love of those who surround me. Support from girls who were once strangers and are now friends- even sisters. A great job. A place to rest my head, but also to rest my heart. A place I have called home.

But I feel that through my devotional time with God, that I am being drawn out of my role as a Resident Assistant. He has been in this process of uprooting me.

So I kneel at the altar, laying it all down. Shaking, I don't know what is next. In fact, I have no idea. I could step into a spiritual desert, or a spiritual oasis. I might fight loneliness or doubt or lack of purpose- all of which have terrified me in the past.

Yet, I have learned something. My God is FOR ME. He wants to bless his children, giving them good gifts. And every time in the past when I have been given a crossroads with two options, and one calls me to lay down everything I held onto and loved, God has SHOWN UP. What I mean is that in those critical times, God has been near to me and provided for me... and more. My heart was drawn to Him, and really there is nothing more precious.

Yes, nothing is more precious than a heart that is close to God.

I am stepping into a new season, and I am hopeful.

One of my "anchor verses" I am holding onto as I prepare for this change of changing jobs and moving floors from this family-like setting is Proverbs 3:6.

It reads, "Seek his willing all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Even though I was afraid to formally communicate the decision to the girls I have been serving, I had this confidence that I was following God's will for my life. I have been humbled, as I pray, that the way in which God has moved in this community through me will continue. Why? Because, if I leave, won't that change? No. I am convinced that any good thing that has come through me, that God has manifested on this floor was By Him- by The Spirit of God that lives in me. So no, those good things will not stop. I am convinced that the Spirit of God hovers and lives and dwells on this floor, Spence Third North. And though I will not be here any more, HE WILL. He is the anything and everything that has ever been good in me. That's why I don't have to stress. He will take care of these ladies, and I know whoever comes in my place next will be all that these ladies need, because He cares for them.

I also know that there are many lessons that I have learned. I will cherish those, and will carry them with me forever.

As I acknowledge the close of a season, I am grateful, from the depths of my soul, to have this privilege of serving as an RA. It is sweetly woven into the tapestry of my life's story now, and I would not have had it any other way!

Thank you S3N for EVERYTHING! I love you ladies and will hold each of you in my prayers til the end of time!

And thank you LORD for showing me that YOU are my Source, my Rock, and my All! May my heart continue to grow closer to you still.

Love as always,
Melly xoxoxo

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