My Psalm 73

This has been a ROUGH semester for me!

Some of you know, but I have been struggling this season with some major health issues. I just got some major test results this week, as well as some direction in general about what my next steps can be.

Basically, I am sharing because I have been MIA on this blog!

Truly, I have been meaning to share more about this journey... but I have been unsure how. My hope is that this blog is uplifting, encouraging, and will spur people spiritually, creatively, intellectually- and that it will encourage and challenge you to grow.

My desire is to do that by authentically doing the same myself, by sharing my own wrestlings and journey. Lately, I have been feeling like my life wouldn't be uplifting to share. That it is too sad, and that I am too mad at God for not healing me like I want him to (which would be to be completely healed like four months ago, which I am not... leaving me pretty exhausted both physically and mentally).

Here are some things I am  learning.

1. It is okay to be frustrated at and to wrestle with God. And no, it's not pointless. But it is often out of our realm of understanding- I am finding that wrestling often re-positions our heart and our viewpoint of how we see/interact with God.
2. Christian faith is a marathon. And since life has natural highs and lows, hard times and good times, there will be times to grieve and mourn. We might not like it as much as the celebration and rejoicing, but we get to experience the body of Christ in a different way, and we experience God in a different way.
3. People. I am in a MAJOR transitional year of my life, getting ready to graduate and move from Missouri. Some people, I will stay in touch with. Others will be just for a season. Turns out I suck at letting people go. Not sure how to navigate that, so it's a good thing there's grace in this life for things we don't get right the first time. I am learning, however, that people come in all kinds. Some are good for us and will stand with us through the good and bad. And some are more seasonal- apparently it's going to be okay that people come and go in our lives. I sometimes want to shut people out, because I find it exhausting to have to start from square one with new people, but God really uses others in our lives- so this is for you and for me: don't shut people out just because you've been hurt by someone in the past or even in the present. Use wisdom in your relationships, yes- but don't use fear. Fear is a robber of joy and a stirrer of anxiety. Press into some good people. I am finding that my family is actually pretty rad, especially my little brother! Turns out he really cares about his big sis, and wants to be there for me. Family isn't perfect, but family tends to stick around in our lives more than anyone else, so we might as well let them in and put energy (and plenty of prayer) into our family dynamic. Maybe for you, family is out of the picture. You are adopted into Christ's family as well- find a mentor/spiritual mom/dad. Adopt someone in your church and take them to coffee or lunch. Love one another. It's the heart of God for us to love and be loved! (I may need another post just for this section!)
4. Press into resources. God has been showing me that HE is the strength of my heart. My favorite verse right now is Psalm 73:26, "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." It is such an accurate representation of where I am in my life right now. I am not very strong physically, but God provides a supernatural strength that carries my soul, which is the everlasting part of me anyway. I am also reading a great book called God Chicks Awakened by Holly Wagner. It is a 90-Day Devotional, and inspires me. Hope in the Dark is another book I am reading excerpts of from the YouVersion app on my phone. I can do it on the go, or when I am waiting between classes or appointments (which is a lot of health check-ups lately).

Psalm 73 is a psalm about God being our strength and portion forever. 

That, he is. 

Regardless of situation, circumstance, pestilence, health issue, doubt, discouragement- that truth is greater than ANY thorn in our flesh.

Some days I believe that more than other days. Today, I believe it, so I want to share that hope with you. You can borrow some of my hope today, if you need it.

May the God of Hope be with you.

May he show his mercy, grace, and abundant presence and love to you, wherever you are today.

Love,

Mel xoxo