Phones Down

I have to tell you a story. 

Running. 

Running on empty.

Feeling the pressures of expectations, but feeling like nothing, absolutely nothing is enough to make myself feel better. Why? Because I have tried everything I could think of, and I still felt tired, overwhelmed, and empty. 

So I went for a walk. I grabbed my bible, my journal, and I prayed that God would either send someone my way or that He would somehow make me okay.

But then the pain rushed back over me! As I was walking, I felt like I was going to cry... and my face was surely showing signs of not being "okay." I was tempted to pull out my cell phone, just to hold it up to my ear and pretend that I was on the phone as if I were talking to someone else and crying over their problems, not my own. 

But then that Holy Spirit tug sharply said, "No! Keep your phone down. Be vulnerable, it is okay for you to hurt right now."

So, hesitantly, I put my phone back into my purse. And I tried to fake a smile, because sometimes you have to fake it til ya make it, right?...

I was doing well, faking smiles to people who passed by and never saw me, until I saw one of the girls from my dorm. I knew her, she knew me. Should I grab my phone? No. So she saw me, smiled, and then as we grew close to passing each other, she said, "Hi! How are you?" Tears that would not be held in lunged from my eyes.

I quickly tried to recover to my happy-go-lucky front, desperately trying to pull myself together, but it was too late. She knew I wasn't okay. I knew I wasn't okay. And it was time to let myself feel and process the hurt.

This young woman was so gentle and so kind to me. She reached out and put a hand on my shoulder, then gave me a hug. She asked if I wanted to talk about what was going on, and convinced me that she really was willing to hear me out. 

We ended up going to a coffee shop, talking for nearly two hours.

We talked of the good, the bad, the hurts, the silly things; we talked about pretty much everything!

Friends, I cannot tell you how much Jesus I experienced through her kindness. First of all, God knew I needed a friend in that very hour. I needed an outside perspective and a listening ear. But more than that, it really blessed me that someone I knew sort of well would care to take the time to out of their day to minister to me by listening. If I am being honest, I'd previously thought my role in her life was to bless and mentor her, but after last night's coffee shop voyage, I see that it is a two way street. God totally used her to help me and encourage me. But He absolutely used me to become a support and even a friend to her as well. (And gosh, I LOVE when that happens!!!)

The funniest thing to me is that she told me that she almost pulled out her phone to seem like she was talking to someone, but felt like she had to keep her phone down as well. I thought that was really interesting. It makes me wonder, how many times have I missed connecting with the people right in front of me because my phone was my social wall, my excuse to stay cooped up in my own little world? How many times have I been waiting somewhere with people around me, but I chose to look down at my phone instead of looking up into their hurting eyes?

While we cannot be all things to all people, we might just be able to be one listening ear for someone who needs just one person to listen. 

So if you are ever debating whether to take your phone out in public, or to keep it in your bag, maybe look around first and remember this little (and hopefully encouraging) story of healing, friendship, and redemption because of two gal's choices to keep their phones down. 

Best of Life to You,

Melly XOXO

{P.S. I will for sure be having coffee with my new friend again soon!}