Soul, soul good.
Hi friends!
Wow.
I wanted to update you all!!! It, once again, has been a while. I am in my senior year, last semester of undergraduate study, and there is nothing quite like it! I am S-O-A-K-I-N-G it up!!! That, in fact, and studying for a BIG test for future educational pursuits have been taking up my main attentions, so the blog has been sparce with content.
My hope and prayer with it is to prioritize my time investing in the people around me in this short, sweet season- I will always have time to write after I graduation (at least I assume so... there really is no guidebook on life for these kinds of things, so who knows!). I also really value brining heartfelt, reflective content, which I hope you have found true. That being said, I wanted to give reason to my absence!
As you may know, I am BIG on resolutions. New year's resolutions, small weekly or monthly personal goals... you name it! I think I am addicted to the rush of progress, the idea that if we work hard at something, bit by bit we might get better. I hope to be a life-long learner, and it starts with today, right?
Anyway, one of my new resolutions for 2019 is to spend more time with people who do my soul good. People who are so, soul good for me. Why? Well, you see, sometimes I let people dictate who and when I pour into others. Not even that- I gravitate towards "putting out the fires" if you will, and that includes people in crisis (or, what they perceive to be crisis). This, while very compassionate and surely needed in the world, can be harmful in excess. As can anything. But I noticed as I reflected on the past year, I did not invest in people who were good for me to balance out the crisis cases. That might sound a little bit harsh- to call some people "crisis people" and others "good," but I think you catch my drift. It's not that the people having hard issues are bad, but it DID spur me to evaluate who I interact with.
In middle school, our church youth group emphasized that you are usually a sum of your three closest friends. That idea of who you surround yourself with carries into adulthood (I am just now catching wind of this, so bear with me).
I realized my circle of people- my day-to-day interactions, were 90% with people who needed lifting up. Who looked to me to lift them up. Whoa. I needed to check myself!
This wasn't healthy, and I began to feel the toll. I wasn't wanting to spend time with people, because I felt like all I was good for was a problem dump. LIES LIES LIES. How often do we accumulate and address our own worth from how others treat us? That's another topic for another day. But these types of things, I am discovering, are exacerbated when we are tired, weak, or sick. I was all three. Top that with some unhealthy relationship dynamics = NOT GOOD.
So, this year, my resolution is not to run from those people (although some good boundaries and limits indeed had to be set), but to also to "work on cultivating good, deep friendships that pour into YOU. Prioritize healthy relationships for yourself." (from my phone notes)
I keep that, along with other resolutions I have for the year, on my phone where I can look at it often.
Today, I want to share a victory: I did it! I went with a friend, a good friend- who not just pours into me spiritually, emotionally, and can also make me laugh (so a multi-dimensional friend)- and we got taco Tuesday dinner specials! We talked about life, the things we last said we'd pray for/the follow up of what we had been praying for on each other's behalf, used each other as a sounding board for some tough things we are facing, and encouraged one another with Truth. It was so uplifting, so good for my soul! Plus... tacos!!!
I want to address something else about it. This took initiative. It took action. It also was hard for me to actually have courage to allow her in to the things I am facing- but I realized I needed a prayer warrior, and a physical friend to stand with me on those things. Someone who knew my history, and would be able to remind me of God's past faithfulness.
It was hard for me to feel safe to trust her- not because she's untrustworthy, but because the things I am currently facing in life have to do with God stirring up a redeeming work that has caused me to revisit a time in my life where trust was severely broken, especially in the realm of friendship.
So tonight, I thank God. I thank God that he brings new and works with us through the old. I am grateful for growth, progress, good soul friends, the opportunity to give trust more chances even if that's scary. I thank you for the healing and encouragement good friendship can bring! And of course, thank you LORD for tacos! Amen.
May you have courage also, to love, to heal, and to grow. Happy 2019!
Blessings to you my friends,
Melissa xoxo
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| Not getting tacos, brunch this time! |
Wow.
I wanted to update you all!!! It, once again, has been a while. I am in my senior year, last semester of undergraduate study, and there is nothing quite like it! I am S-O-A-K-I-N-G it up!!! That, in fact, and studying for a BIG test for future educational pursuits have been taking up my main attentions, so the blog has been sparce with content.
My hope and prayer with it is to prioritize my time investing in the people around me in this short, sweet season- I will always have time to write after I graduation (at least I assume so... there really is no guidebook on life for these kinds of things, so who knows!). I also really value brining heartfelt, reflective content, which I hope you have found true. That being said, I wanted to give reason to my absence!
As you may know, I am BIG on resolutions. New year's resolutions, small weekly or monthly personal goals... you name it! I think I am addicted to the rush of progress, the idea that if we work hard at something, bit by bit we might get better. I hope to be a life-long learner, and it starts with today, right?
Anyway, one of my new resolutions for 2019 is to spend more time with people who do my soul good. People who are so, soul good for me. Why? Well, you see, sometimes I let people dictate who and when I pour into others. Not even that- I gravitate towards "putting out the fires" if you will, and that includes people in crisis (or, what they perceive to be crisis). This, while very compassionate and surely needed in the world, can be harmful in excess. As can anything. But I noticed as I reflected on the past year, I did not invest in people who were good for me to balance out the crisis cases. That might sound a little bit harsh- to call some people "crisis people" and others "good," but I think you catch my drift. It's not that the people having hard issues are bad, but it DID spur me to evaluate who I interact with.
In middle school, our church youth group emphasized that you are usually a sum of your three closest friends. That idea of who you surround yourself with carries into adulthood (I am just now catching wind of this, so bear with me).
I realized my circle of people- my day-to-day interactions, were 90% with people who needed lifting up. Who looked to me to lift them up. Whoa. I needed to check myself!
This wasn't healthy, and I began to feel the toll. I wasn't wanting to spend time with people, because I felt like all I was good for was a problem dump. LIES LIES LIES. How often do we accumulate and address our own worth from how others treat us? That's another topic for another day. But these types of things, I am discovering, are exacerbated when we are tired, weak, or sick. I was all three. Top that with some unhealthy relationship dynamics = NOT GOOD.
So, this year, my resolution is not to run from those people (although some good boundaries and limits indeed had to be set), but to also to "work on cultivating good, deep friendships that pour into YOU. Prioritize healthy relationships for yourself." (from my phone notes)
I keep that, along with other resolutions I have for the year, on my phone where I can look at it often.
Today, I want to share a victory: I did it! I went with a friend, a good friend- who not just pours into me spiritually, emotionally, and can also make me laugh (so a multi-dimensional friend)- and we got taco Tuesday dinner specials! We talked about life, the things we last said we'd pray for/the follow up of what we had been praying for on each other's behalf, used each other as a sounding board for some tough things we are facing, and encouraged one another with Truth. It was so uplifting, so good for my soul! Plus... tacos!!!
I want to address something else about it. This took initiative. It took action. It also was hard for me to actually have courage to allow her in to the things I am facing- but I realized I needed a prayer warrior, and a physical friend to stand with me on those things. Someone who knew my history, and would be able to remind me of God's past faithfulness.
It was hard for me to feel safe to trust her- not because she's untrustworthy, but because the things I am currently facing in life have to do with God stirring up a redeeming work that has caused me to revisit a time in my life where trust was severely broken, especially in the realm of friendship.
So tonight, I thank God. I thank God that he brings new and works with us through the old. I am grateful for growth, progress, good soul friends, the opportunity to give trust more chances even if that's scary. I thank you for the healing and encouragement good friendship can bring! And of course, thank you LORD for tacos! Amen.
May you have courage also, to love, to heal, and to grow. Happy 2019!
Blessings to you my friends,
Melissa xoxo
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