Quick Breaths
Tightened chest.
Heart racing.
Mind flushed with the sensation of my world spinning out of control.
Quick breaths.
...Anxiousness escalates.
I had never dealt with much anxiety. But this year, after I prayed a "Jesus do anything you need to do/want to do in my life because I know you can help me overcome anything and everything" kind of prayer, I have been allowed to experience some anxiety.
In the past month and a half, I have experienced about three prominent panic attacks. (I am pretty sure that last panic attack was due to anxiety of getting a panic attack too.)
They are genuinely terrifying. It feels like the world is spinning unrealistically out of control.
Y'all have to know. I like to have a plan in life. I like to know what is happening, and what I need to do, and how to make progress. Panic attacks are not very accommodating to those desires. I didn't know what was happening, nor what to do, nor how to stop having them. I sure didn't like that!
"God, how is this supposed to fit into being a broken leader?' I asked God. I was reminded during a night of reflection of that call to be a broken leader.
Sure enough, we had floor devotions in our dorm and we ended up sharing what God was doing in our lives. The Holy Spirit prompted me to share about my recent anxiety. I was less than thrilled... but when God asks us to do something, we could make a good habit of obedience.
So I shared. Turned out, more than half of the girls in that room had been or were currently dealing with anxiety. I was floored. Really? They all seemed to have their lives together!
In sharing that struggle, God used that vulnerability to open up the floor so everyone else could feel more comfortable to share the hard stuff they were carrying on their own.
At the end of our floor devotional time, we all prayed for each other. We took time to wait on the Holy Spirit and let him speak to us. We also spent time asking God what he had for each of the ladies in the room, one at a time. God gave girls visions, words of encouragement, words of prophecy, and life callings that night. Truly, it was amazing! God gets the glory- every ounce of it.
Even though we began that time together sharing what was hard and not particularly uplifting, it brought us closer, showed us what we had in common, taught us what we could be praying for on behalf of each other, and gave opportunity to receive fresh vision from God.
I want to point out that God uses all things for the good of those who love Him.
He doesn't want us to stay anxious. Philippians 4:6 says, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." (NLT).
In closing, I'd like to share this song with you all. It is called "Breathe" by Jonny Diaz.
"Let go of what's good, and find what's best... come and rest at my feet. And be. Just be. Chaos calls, but all you really need is to just breathe."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA
Breathe. Instead of anxious, quick breaths, slowly and fully breathe in the Peace of your Father in Heaven. Rest in Him. And breathe.
-Melissa
Heart racing.
Mind flushed with the sensation of my world spinning out of control.
Quick breaths.
...Anxiousness escalates.
I had never dealt with much anxiety. But this year, after I prayed a "Jesus do anything you need to do/want to do in my life because I know you can help me overcome anything and everything" kind of prayer, I have been allowed to experience some anxiety.
In the past month and a half, I have experienced about three prominent panic attacks. (I am pretty sure that last panic attack was due to anxiety of getting a panic attack too.)
They are genuinely terrifying. It feels like the world is spinning unrealistically out of control.
Y'all have to know. I like to have a plan in life. I like to know what is happening, and what I need to do, and how to make progress. Panic attacks are not very accommodating to those desires. I didn't know what was happening, nor what to do, nor how to stop having them. I sure didn't like that!
"God, how is this supposed to fit into being a broken leader?' I asked God. I was reminded during a night of reflection of that call to be a broken leader.
Sure enough, we had floor devotions in our dorm and we ended up sharing what God was doing in our lives. The Holy Spirit prompted me to share about my recent anxiety. I was less than thrilled... but when God asks us to do something, we could make a good habit of obedience.
So I shared. Turned out, more than half of the girls in that room had been or were currently dealing with anxiety. I was floored. Really? They all seemed to have their lives together!
In sharing that struggle, God used that vulnerability to open up the floor so everyone else could feel more comfortable to share the hard stuff they were carrying on their own.
At the end of our floor devotional time, we all prayed for each other. We took time to wait on the Holy Spirit and let him speak to us. We also spent time asking God what he had for each of the ladies in the room, one at a time. God gave girls visions, words of encouragement, words of prophecy, and life callings that night. Truly, it was amazing! God gets the glory- every ounce of it.
Even though we began that time together sharing what was hard and not particularly uplifting, it brought us closer, showed us what we had in common, taught us what we could be praying for on behalf of each other, and gave opportunity to receive fresh vision from God.
I want to point out that God uses all things for the good of those who love Him.
He doesn't want us to stay anxious. Philippians 4:6 says, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." (NLT).
In closing, I'd like to share this song with you all. It is called "Breathe" by Jonny Diaz.
"Let go of what's good, and find what's best... come and rest at my feet. And be. Just be. Chaos calls, but all you really need is to just breathe."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA
Breathe. Instead of anxious, quick breaths, slowly and fully breathe in the Peace of your Father in Heaven. Rest in Him. And breathe.
-Melissa
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