WOG: Looking for a Man...
I may or may not be trying to coin a new term... "WOG."
Woman
Of
God
My goal in life is to love and follow God and be a solid, exemplary WOG, and this morning I woke up thinking about it a little differently.
Some of you may or may not know, but the last 2.5 weeks of college, I got asked out on a plethora of dates. Like, seriously, I had been there four years and it all came at the end! I was both flattered and kind of overwhelmed. As it started to happen, I prayed that this all wouldn't go straight to my head but that God would teach me how to navigate this.
I am about to be super honest, so brace yourselves for some shockingly honest Mel!!!
I have never dated anyone. Yep, 22 going on 23 later this year, and I have not dated a soul. This doesn't particularly bother me except on occasion, but I do get asked why I am not dating anyone frequently (mostly older ladies in the church who have a grandson, bless them!). For the duration of college, I have had a pretty drastic viewpoint on the whole dating scenario- I went from "purity book only-date-one-guy-ever" to it's okay to go on dates (which is where I stand now). I want to invite you, especially my younger readers, that it is okay to try to figure it out- but have variety in your counsel. The Bible talks about safety in counsel, so yes have your chick friends your age, but also be including some mentors: a mom/mother figure, a pastor or pastor's wife, a young adult that you admire how she walks by faith, or a youth leader living for the lord. The point is, make sure you are filtering what you decide through a net of 1) the Holy Spirit who is our Counselor, and 2) wise people who already are where it is that you are wanting to go.
That being said, have your own opinion, and if it is different than mine that is okay! I am not offended! I am openly sharing my own heart because I didn't have someone do that for me and think it would have been helpful. Love you. Okay, back to the story!
So, within the span of 2.5 weeks, ten guys asked me on a date. Was there something in the water? Carrie Underwood, anyone?? Now granted, not all of them did take me on one, but they expressed interest. Y'all, that's a lot of men! My pre-college mind would have broken down and freaked. But now, I am more open to going out to get to know someone and so I did go on a few dates with these dudes. And I let them know there were other dudes who had just asked me out because I wanted to be up front about where I was- they appreciated me honoring them and not hiding it. It was nice actually, which surprised me. But it brings up a lot of questions for me.
What do I want in a relationship? Is it time? What does that look like for me? What is taking it slow? What if they are a different type of Christian (because to me sharing my faith is a non-negotiable). What about ethnicity? That is a real one for me because I am multi-ethnic and having to explain all of that honesty sounds exhausting- so do I try to find someone similar to me or just someone who is willing to learn- or do both traits exist in one person??
But yesterday after one of them reached out to me, another biggie got me in the question arena: how does a righteous woman flirt?
Yikes typing that was roughhhh for me out here because like I said, this is way honest and something that I haven't shared like this ever before. But as I think about it, the world depicts this so freely- but it isn't how to honor another human it is how to seduce them and get your way, sometimes at the expense of someone else's heart and dignity. THAT is not what a WOG is about, not in my book- so ladies, I daresay it's time to make a stand in the arena and lead the pack a different direction, otherwise we are going to deal with relational wreckage, as well as emotional wreckage now as well as in our families going forward. I woke up and personally decided- NO. I want to take a stand for this starting now.
So how does a righteous woman behave when someone tries to pursue her?
I don't have all the answers, but I think if we take a step back it makes it a bit easier.
WOGs honor others. Is what you are saying honoring both you, them and God. What we say is a reflection of our heart and our desires- so even if you say something that shocks you, let it not lead you to fear but let it lead you to prayer. If a seductive or selfish desire comes through or even hints through your conversation or messaging, BRING THAT TO THE LORD. Seriously, because those are common, maybe even normal, and if we live in this world with a flesh nature, those things can creep into our heads for sure!! What we need to be cognizant of is 1) that it is there which might mean there is a deeper need that another person should not be subject to fill and 2) that desire does not have to have control or dominion over you and the decisions you make. Your sex drive, desire to be in a relationship, or someone else's sweet talk no matter how cute it is, does not have to dictate your life in this season. You also don't have to stay in it just because he's cute or charming. You might be honoring him just as much in your release, especially if he is mature and you communicate your standards. Give him space to respond as a MOG (Man of God, see what I did there!). This allows an honorable space for both him and you to regain dignity, but again, confide in someone older and wiser as you do this so you don't just let your emotions bind you to him just because "he's trying." Stand your ground on Biblical principles! If you don't, who will do it for you?? I am writing that for me as much as I am writing it for my other young single friends. If God is the Lord of your life, let Him be Lord here too. Dude, he knows what you need- He made you!! He knows how this works- just like he knows the other details of your life- and he goes before you just the same. TRUST HIM & TRUST THE PROCESS.
One more thing- you bringing this into submission before the Lord now will strengthen muscles in your marriage. Obviously, your girl out here isn't married, but I can guess that every now and then you'll run across some hunk at the hardware store or behind you in the grocery store on a day your husband made you mad, and your flesh and the loud obnoxious voices of the world will tell you to go with what you're feeling and maybe you are feeling him instead of your lawfully wedded man. Ladies, it is the same muscle. Reel it in now, learn to honor God and others in this area of your life. I could go on and on and on... But you get the idea.
I so strongly feel that this is needed. I don't usually share quite like this, but am tired of families falling apart and my heart breaks every time a young man or woman feels wrecked from a selfish relationship that went too far. Be a WOG. Stand strong. Get some accountability. Find others who will encourage and inspire you to keep fighting the good fight, because this whole process isn't in vain but leads us ever closer to the tender heart of God who redeems us all and loves us fiercely and endlessly.
May we carry His grace, discernment, and hope as we navigate these waters.
Love as always,
Melissa xoxo
P.S. if you want me to expand on this, leave a comment below! There's so much more I could say, but I wanted to encourage in these areas for now!! LOVE YOU ALL!
Woman
Of
God
My goal in life is to love and follow God and be a solid, exemplary WOG, and this morning I woke up thinking about it a little differently.
Some of you may or may not know, but the last 2.5 weeks of college, I got asked out on a plethora of dates. Like, seriously, I had been there four years and it all came at the end! I was both flattered and kind of overwhelmed. As it started to happen, I prayed that this all wouldn't go straight to my head but that God would teach me how to navigate this.
I am about to be super honest, so brace yourselves for some shockingly honest Mel!!!
I have never dated anyone. Yep, 22 going on 23 later this year, and I have not dated a soul. This doesn't particularly bother me except on occasion, but I do get asked why I am not dating anyone frequently (mostly older ladies in the church who have a grandson, bless them!). For the duration of college, I have had a pretty drastic viewpoint on the whole dating scenario- I went from "purity book only-date-one-guy-ever" to it's okay to go on dates (which is where I stand now). I want to invite you, especially my younger readers, that it is okay to try to figure it out- but have variety in your counsel. The Bible talks about safety in counsel, so yes have your chick friends your age, but also be including some mentors: a mom/mother figure, a pastor or pastor's wife, a young adult that you admire how she walks by faith, or a youth leader living for the lord. The point is, make sure you are filtering what you decide through a net of 1) the Holy Spirit who is our Counselor, and 2) wise people who already are where it is that you are wanting to go.
That being said, have your own opinion, and if it is different than mine that is okay! I am not offended! I am openly sharing my own heart because I didn't have someone do that for me and think it would have been helpful. Love you. Okay, back to the story!
So, within the span of 2.5 weeks, ten guys asked me on a date. Was there something in the water? Carrie Underwood, anyone?? Now granted, not all of them did take me on one, but they expressed interest. Y'all, that's a lot of men! My pre-college mind would have broken down and freaked. But now, I am more open to going out to get to know someone and so I did go on a few dates with these dudes. And I let them know there were other dudes who had just asked me out because I wanted to be up front about where I was- they appreciated me honoring them and not hiding it. It was nice actually, which surprised me. But it brings up a lot of questions for me.
What do I want in a relationship? Is it time? What does that look like for me? What is taking it slow? What if they are a different type of Christian (because to me sharing my faith is a non-negotiable). What about ethnicity? That is a real one for me because I am multi-ethnic and having to explain all of that honesty sounds exhausting- so do I try to find someone similar to me or just someone who is willing to learn- or do both traits exist in one person??
But yesterday after one of them reached out to me, another biggie got me in the question arena: how does a righteous woman flirt?
Yikes typing that was roughhhh for me out here because like I said, this is way honest and something that I haven't shared like this ever before. But as I think about it, the world depicts this so freely- but it isn't how to honor another human it is how to seduce them and get your way, sometimes at the expense of someone else's heart and dignity. THAT is not what a WOG is about, not in my book- so ladies, I daresay it's time to make a stand in the arena and lead the pack a different direction, otherwise we are going to deal with relational wreckage, as well as emotional wreckage now as well as in our families going forward. I woke up and personally decided- NO. I want to take a stand for this starting now.
So how does a righteous woman behave when someone tries to pursue her?
I don't have all the answers, but I think if we take a step back it makes it a bit easier.
WOGs honor others. Is what you are saying honoring both you, them and God. What we say is a reflection of our heart and our desires- so even if you say something that shocks you, let it not lead you to fear but let it lead you to prayer. If a seductive or selfish desire comes through or even hints through your conversation or messaging, BRING THAT TO THE LORD. Seriously, because those are common, maybe even normal, and if we live in this world with a flesh nature, those things can creep into our heads for sure!! What we need to be cognizant of is 1) that it is there which might mean there is a deeper need that another person should not be subject to fill and 2) that desire does not have to have control or dominion over you and the decisions you make. Your sex drive, desire to be in a relationship, or someone else's sweet talk no matter how cute it is, does not have to dictate your life in this season. You also don't have to stay in it just because he's cute or charming. You might be honoring him just as much in your release, especially if he is mature and you communicate your standards. Give him space to respond as a MOG (Man of God, see what I did there!). This allows an honorable space for both him and you to regain dignity, but again, confide in someone older and wiser as you do this so you don't just let your emotions bind you to him just because "he's trying." Stand your ground on Biblical principles! If you don't, who will do it for you?? I am writing that for me as much as I am writing it for my other young single friends. If God is the Lord of your life, let Him be Lord here too. Dude, he knows what you need- He made you!! He knows how this works- just like he knows the other details of your life- and he goes before you just the same. TRUST HIM & TRUST THE PROCESS.
One more thing- you bringing this into submission before the Lord now will strengthen muscles in your marriage. Obviously, your girl out here isn't married, but I can guess that every now and then you'll run across some hunk at the hardware store or behind you in the grocery store on a day your husband made you mad, and your flesh and the loud obnoxious voices of the world will tell you to go with what you're feeling and maybe you are feeling him instead of your lawfully wedded man. Ladies, it is the same muscle. Reel it in now, learn to honor God and others in this area of your life. I could go on and on and on... But you get the idea.
I so strongly feel that this is needed. I don't usually share quite like this, but am tired of families falling apart and my heart breaks every time a young man or woman feels wrecked from a selfish relationship that went too far. Be a WOG. Stand strong. Get some accountability. Find others who will encourage and inspire you to keep fighting the good fight, because this whole process isn't in vain but leads us ever closer to the tender heart of God who redeems us all and loves us fiercely and endlessly.
May we carry His grace, discernment, and hope as we navigate these waters.
Love as always,
Melissa xoxo
P.S. if you want me to expand on this, leave a comment below! There's so much more I could say, but I wanted to encourage in these areas for now!! LOVE YOU ALL!
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